Decisions Don’t Have to Be This Hard

I’ve always had a hard time making decisions. Like, every single one. What to eat, what to say, which direction to go. For the longest time, I just thought that was my personality. But when I really started digging into it, I realized it wasn’t about the decisions themselves. It was about trust. Or more accurately, the lack of it.

Growing up, I didn’t feel heard. It wasn’t that I had nothing to say, I did. But whenever I spoke, it either came out wrong or people reacted in ways I didn’t expect. Sometimes they dismissed me, sometimes they misunderstood me completely. After a while, I started second-guessing everything. I’d rehearse what I wanted to say before speaking, overanalyze people’s reactions, and when things didn’t go how I expected, I assumed I had done something wrong.

It took me years to realize that maybe nothing was actually wrong. That maybe I wasn’t broken. That my difficulty reading people’s responses or knowing how I was being perceived wasn’t a failure on my part, but just the way my brain worked. Even knowing that, the habit of questioning myself had already settled deep. And it showed up in everything, especially when it came to making decisions.

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Signs You Might Be Struggling with Indecisiveness

If you find yourself stuck in an endless loop of overthinking, constantly worried about making the “wrong” choice, you’re not alone. Indecisiveness can look like:

• Overanalyzing even small choices, like picking a restaurant or what movie to watch.
• Always asking others what they think before making a decision.
• Feeling anxious after making a choice, wondering if you should have picked differently.
• Letting other people decide for you because it feels safer.
• Hesitating to commit, even when you already know what you want.

Why It’s So Hard to Make a Decision

How to Start Trusting Yourself More

• Start with small decisions. Don’t spend five minutes debating between two kinds of pasta. Just pick one. The more you practice making choices without overthinking, the easier it gets.
• Give yourself a time limit. Thirty seconds, a minute—whatever feels reasonable. When the time’s up, commit.
• Pay attention to your first instinct. That immediate gut reaction? It’s probably right. Try listening to it.
• Stop asking for so much input. It’s fine to get advice, but if you’re always waiting for someone else’s approval, try making the choice on your own first.
• Accept that no decision is perfect. Every choice comes with pros and cons. The goal isn’t to pick the “perfect” one—it’s to make a decision and move forward.
• Remind yourself that some choices just don’t matter that much. If it’s not going to hurt you, it’s okay to just pick without knowing every possible outcome. If you can’t decide which is better, pick one at random. You can go to the other restaurant next time, take a different route home tomorrow, or maybe you’ll hate the movie you picked—it’s okay. Now you know, and you can watch a different one next time.

It takes time. Undoing years of hesitation isn’t easy. But the more we practice, the more we start to trust ourselves. And as we trust ourselves, decision-making becomes less about fear and more about confidence. Each choice, no matter how small, is a step toward proving to yourself that you are capable. Our voices matter, our choices matter, and we don’t need to be afraid of getting it wrong. Because sometimes, the only wrong choice is not choosing at all.

What’s one decision you always struggle with? Try setting a time limit and making the call. The more you practice, the more you’ll trust yourself.

With love & light,
Jessica ♡