The first time I realized what journaling could actually do for me, I was deep in my “everything is happening to me” phase. Some might know it better as a victim mindset.
Back then, it didn’t take much for me to feel triggered. Something Josh would say, or not say, was enough to send me into a spiral. Some of those triggers were reasonable, and some of them… not so much (sorry, babe). But at the time, I couldn’t tell the difference. I would shut down, go silent, and stew in my feelings. Looking back, I feel bad about how often Josh had no idea what was wrong, because I never told him. I just expected him to know.
Around then, I had been learning about how rituals could help process emotions. I kept hearing people talk about journaling, too. It sounded great and all. I even bought a cute little leather journal, thinking, ‘Yep, I’m definitely going to fill this.’ But when I thought about actually picking it up to write… my brain made it impossible. What was I even supposed to write about? Was I supposed to have a profound realization every time? What if someone read it? Should I censor myself to make sure no one gets offended, just in case?
One afternoon, Josh and I didn’t talk for hours because I got upset over something so small. I don’t even remember what it was now. That night, I was still sulking, still carrying that heavy feeling in my chest, and I decided I couldn’t stand it anymore. I picked up my empty little journal. Without even giving myself time to think, I just started writing.
At first, I wrote about what Josh did that made me mad and how justified I felt in being upset. But then I saw my words staring back at me from the page, and I felt like I was looking in on someone else’s life, wondering why they were so angry. Written down, my “justification” didn’t look as solid as it felt in my head. So I kept going. I started writing about my reaction, about why I thought I felt that way. And that’s when I caught my first real glimpse of what journaling could do. It was like holding up a mirror, not always flattering, but always honest.
Why Journaling Feels Intimidating
I still struggle with journaling some days. If I’m being honest, it’s actually most days. The thought of being perceived, even by myself, can feel scary. A lot of people feel the same way.
We question whether we should journal at all, or if we’d even have anything to say. Anyone who’s ever thought about journaling has probably asked themselves, ‘What am I even supposed to write about?’ And then some people think they don’t have time to journal, especially every day. Like, when they feel like they never have a moment to themselves, or they’re tired, or emotionally drained. And sometimes just the thought of confronting how you feel is enough to make you freeze.
None of it really matters. And I know that’s easier said than accepted. But that’s my first piece of advice. Stop questioning yourself. There are no rules to journaling. You don’t have to impress anyone, not even yourself. Your grammar doesn’t have to be perfect. Your spelling doesn’t matter. There can be scribbles across the page, doodles in the margins. You can even journal in the form of pie charts and lists if that truly helps you get your thoughts down. Whatever comes to mind, let it get on the page.
Simple Ways to Make Journaling Easier
- Start small. Write just one sentence, a single thought, or even a word. You don’t need a full page.
- Use prompts. Answer a question like, “What’s on my mind right now?” or use a prompt from a series like our Saturday Soul prompts on Facebook.
- Time yourself. Try journaling for just five minutes. When the timer goes off, you can stop, or keep going if you feel like it.
- Let it be messy. Scribbles, doodles, charts, bullet points, whatever gets your thoughts out is valid.
- Write for yourself only. Close the door, keep it private, or even set your phone to ‘do not disturb’ so nobody interrupts.
- Focus on feelings, not perfection. You’re not writing a novel. You’re giving your emotions space to breathe.
- Make it a ritual. Light a candle, make a cup of tea, or play soft music, whatever helps you settle into the practice.
- Forgive missed days. Journaling isn’t a punishment. If you skip a day, just start again tomorrow. The only one judging you is yourself.
- Try a journal with prompts built in. If you want extra guidance or inspiration, journals like the Zen as F*ck Journal (if you want a lighter/fun approach) or a Shadow Work Journal (if you’re ready to dive deep) can help you get started without overthinking what to write.
- Use a free resource. I created a free workbook with a few practices and prompts to help you start journaling without the pressure of staring at a blank page.
When you start journaling, holding that mirror up to yourself, really seeing your feelings, noticing what you’re reacting to and what you’re not, and understanding where those reactions are coming from, can transform the way you relate to yourself and others. That kind of clarity and self-awareness is freeing in ways you might not expect.
At the end of the day, journaling isn’t about rules or perfection. It’s about giving yourself a space to actually see yourself, process your emotions, and figure out what’s really going on in your head. And honestly, once you start doing that, you’ll find a little clarity sneaking in… and maybe even a little peace too. Or at the very least, a solid excuse to get new cute pens and notebooks.
With love & light,
Jessica ♡
Unraveling the Self 
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