Overthinking. If there were a degree for it, I’d be graduating with honors. As someone with anxiety (is everyone shouting “me too” at this point?), my brain has taken on the full-time job of running through every possible scenario, even the ones that aren’t really in the realm of possibility. It’s like my mind’s default setting is “what if,” and I’m just trying to catch up.
It starts the moment I wake up. My brain immediately begins planning my day, even before I’ve had my coffee. What should I do first? What’s the most efficient order to get everything done? I know I could just get up and go, but somehow, I feel like I need a roadmap to make it through the morning.
Then, if we need to leave the house, the overthinking shifts into high gear. I’ll find myself thinking, What if the car catches fire? What if we get stuck in traffic and I need to know exactly what to do in an emergency? These scenarios are far from likely, but my mind insists on exploring every possible angle, just in case. It’s like being on a never-ending rollercoaster of “what if” that I didn’t sign up for.
At dinner time, the second-guessing continues. What should I make for the kids? Should I go with something healthy, or something they’ll actually eat? Will I end up feeling guilty either way? Even after I make a decision, I find myself wondering if I made the right choice. It’s like I’m in a constant tug-of-war between wanting to do my best and worrying if it’s enough.
And guys, hear me out, I even randomly freak out about singing in the car with my husband. I’ll be jamming to my favorite song, feeling good, and then, out of NOWHERE, my brain jumps in with, Does he actually hate my singing?
It’s not that I think I’m a terrible singer, but I’m also not about to drop an album, so why does it matter? And do I even care if he hates it? Yet, there I am, analyzing every note, every breath, like I’m auditioning for something. A few days ago, I actually caught myself overthinking it and just blurted out, “How do you feel about my singing? Because for some reason, I think you hate it.” He confusingly told me it was good and that he didn’t mind hearing me sing in the car. And just like that, no more wondering. Sometimes all it takes is asking the question out loud to stop the cycle of overthinking (even if you’re just asking yourself).
Now, here’s where I’ve learned a few other tricks that have made all the difference for me:
Pause and Breathe: When I feel the overthinking taking over, I take a moment to breathe. Not just a quick inhale and exhale, but a deep breath, in and out, for a few seconds. It slows down the racing thoughts enough to hit the reset button. Honestly, as I was writing the first half of this post, my heart was racing because I was thinking about overthinking—so I had to stop and breathe a couple of times myself. It’s a perfect reminder that even in moments when my mind is spiraling, taking a pause can help me come back to the present.
Write It Down: Sometimes, my mind gets so tangled up in everything I need to think about that it feels like a web of chaos. I’ve started keeping a little notebook nearby to jot down whatever’s swirling in my head. Once I write it down, it doesn’t feel as urgent or like I need to solve it all at once. To-do lists help me so much, too. They allow me to break everything down into manageable chunks and remind me that I don’t have to do it all right now. Just getting things on paper helps ease the pressure and gives me a little more space to breathe.
Ask “Is This Helping?”: Overthinking doesn’t help most situations. We know that. But when I actually stop and ask myself, Is this helping?—I often feel a little better just by acknowledging it. The answer is usually no, and even though I already knew that, hearing it out loud (or in my head) helps me break free from the cycle. It’s like giving myself permission to stop and realize I don’t need to keep spinning my wheels.
Grounding: If the overthinking gets too intense, I try to ground myself by focusing on what I can see, hear, or feel in the present moment. Literally, just touching a soft blanket and focusing on it helps me break the cycle and bring my attention back to the here and now
Overthinking will probably always be a part of me, but it doesn’t have to control me. By making small changes like these, I have started to take back a little space from my racing thoughts. If you find yourself caught in the overthinking loop, maybe give one of these tricks a try. What helps you quiet your mind? Drop a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear what works for you!
With love & light,
Jessica ♡
Quick note: I’m not a doctor or mental health professional, just someone sharing what’s helped me manage my own overthinking and anxiety. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional who can support you.
Unraveling the Self 
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